Daughter of the White River - Audiobook Review

Ten years ago I was lucky enough to be invited to an S.J. Tucker house concert in Salem, Massachusetts. I had been a fan for a few years by that point, and it was a magical night of music and good company.

A picture of me looking really weird and super nervous.

S.J. Tucker’s music has this wonderful, faery charm and I can’t stress enough how good it is. Each album has its own sound, and purpose. Some are more spiritual and pagan-focused, others play a different direction, but every one of them is good.

When I heard Sooj had recorded an audiobook I had to jump on that. Then I found out it was a true crime story about an incredibly complicated woman who exacted revenge on the man who killed her father and I was even more excited. 

Daughter of the White River by Denise White Parkinson is like a roller-coaster, in all the best ways. From soft, tranquil moments of southern charm, to wild, heart-racing murder and prison escapes, this story has everything a true crime fan could want.

Parkinson offers us a story of crime and poverty that begs us to question what we view as justice. 

S.J. Tucker’s reading performance is beautiful and soothing. I hope I can experience many more audiobooks read by her. 

What I’m reading next:

 

The Testaments by Margaret Atwood

Another book I recently read and loved:

Giant Days, Volume 11.

(I have loved this entire series.) 

What are you reading? 

Goddess Dishcloth Pattern

Goddess dishcloths

I have knit this pattern three times now, with slightly different borders on each. This version came out 11” wide and 10” tall. I used size 8 needles and Lily Sugar & Cream cotton yarn.

Don’t forget to share your creations with the hashtag #KatrinaDesigns so I can see your beautiful work!

The Pattern:

Cast on 45 stitches

Row 1-5 – K1, P1 to end

Row 6 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K37, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 7 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P35, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 8 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K37, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 9 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P35, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 10 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K15, P7, K15, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 11 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P13, K9, P13, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 12 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K13, P11, K13, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 13 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P11, K13, P11, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 14 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K11, P15, K11, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 15 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P9, K17, P9, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 16 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K10, P17, K10, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 17 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P9, K17, P9, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 18 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K10, P17, K10, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 19 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P9, K17, P9, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 20 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K10, P17, K10, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 21 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P9, K17, P9, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 22 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K11, P15, K11, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 23 - K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P11, K13, P11, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 24 - K1, P1, K1, P1, K13, P11, K13, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 25 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P12, K11, P12, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 26 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K14, P9, K14, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 27 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P14, K7, P14, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 28 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K15, P7, K15, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 29 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P15, K5, P15, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 30 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K16, P5, K16, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 31 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P15, K5, P15, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 32 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K16, P5, K16, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 33 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P15, K5, P15, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 34 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K16, P5, K16, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 35 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P14, K7, P14, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 36 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K14, P9, K14, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 37 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P13, K9, P13, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 38 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K13, P3, K1, P3, K1, P3, K13, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 39 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P11, K2, P3, K3, P3, K2, P11, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 40 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K11, P2, K3, P5, K3, P2, K11, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 41 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P9, K2, P3, K7, P3, K2, P9, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 42 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K9, P2, K4, P7, K4, P2, K9, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 43 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P8, K2, P4, K7, P4, K2, P8, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 44 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K9, P2, K5, P5, K5, P2, K9, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 45 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P8, K2, P6, K3, P6, K2, P8, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 46 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K9, P2, K15, P2, K9, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 47 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P8, K2, P15, K2, P8, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 48 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K9, P2, K15, P2, K9, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 49 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P9, K2, P13, K2, P9, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 50 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K11, P2, K11, P2, K11, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 51 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P11, K3, P7, K3, P11, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 52 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K37, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 53 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P35, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 54 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K37, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 55 – K1, P1, K1, P1, K1, P35, K1, P1, K1, P1, K1

Row 56-60 – K1, P1 to end

BO

Faerie Tale by Signe Pike: A Book Review

If there is even a small part of you that still believes in faeries, a part that still claps when Tinkerbell says to clap, Signe Pike will touch that part of you.

Her first book, Faery Tale: One Woman's Search for Enchantment in a Modern World, dubbed "Eat Pray Love with Faeries" by Inciting a Riot, is a journey through grief, faeries, and the UK.

As a long time fan of faeries and faery lore I was completely entranced by this book. I want to read it again and I can't wait to explore the books she references throughout it. (I added many of them to my wish list before I began this review.) Pike helped me remember things I'd forgotten from my childhood, like groves of trees my sisters and I played in and a tiny doll I believed was a faery. She made me reconsider my love for the word Imagine.

After the death of her father and an odd experience in Mexico, Pike quits her Manhattan job (as a book editor) and goes to Europe in search of faeries, faery lore, and enchantment.

Peppered with beautiful facts, myths and lore, alongside amazing descriptions that make the reader feel like they're traveling with Pike, this book is well worth a read. And a second read. Pike threads the modern into the historic quite well, with references to Yoda and Highlander intertwined through her narrative as the explores ancient forts and sacred pools of water.

There were a few places where Pike's language could have been a little tighter, or her story pulled out a bit further. If she were in a writer's workshop with me I might have moved some of the story around, and I definitely would have edited out a few typos (though I hear that was changed with later printings) but really, it's all minor in the grand scheme of the wonderful book.

A few reviews I've read said this book was specifically aimed at a Pagan audience, but I'm going to disagree with that. Pike has written something that I think much of the world can learn from. Beneath the fantastical examination of what some may consider "supernatural" she is talking about a need to get back to nature. A universal urge to explore the spiritual and to welcome life with a childlike view of it all. Pike has written a faery tale story (with absolutely no princes on white horses, thank you very much!) for everyone.

Even if you don't believe in faeries.

Books Signe Pike suggests:

The Celtic Twilight
(Next on my list!)

Celtic Myths and Legends
(I've read and loved this one, too.

One last thought: If you're a reader and a writer and you're interested in doing a guest post on my blog, shoot me an email at kraysaulis@gmail.com.

The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer: Book Review

I hate asking for help. I don't like asking for someone to loan me money. I don't like asking to borrow a vehicle. I don't like bumming a ride. I don't like asking for a shoulder to cry on. I am a chronically independent person.

I think it was kismet that while I was reading this book I was also moving into a new apartment with almost no notice and no money. In the last week I've asked to borrow vehicles, washing machines, time, hugs and muscle power. I've had to ask for more favors than I ever cared to ask for. Luckily, I had Amanda Palmer's love of the world to help me in humbling myself and trusting my amazing family and friends, my personal network, in this process. (By the way, thank you to our friends and family who helped!)            

The Art of Asking

I've been a fan of Amanda Palmer, indie rock star turned author in this memoir/self-help-book/business-guide, since her Dresden Dolls days. I performed as the "Coin-Operated Boy" in a drag show performance of her popular song just months after I turned twenty-one and could legally go to bars. She has inspired me to put my art out there, to be true to who I am and to be okay with exposing my darkest and deepest self to the world in the way an artist must. Many people have discovered her through her endlessly inspirational TED Talk.

Amanda Palmer loves. She has an ongoing love affair with her fans, her husband, the world itself. She loves people. She loves life, even when she hates it. She loves the entire human family. And her love of the human family, the things we are capable of and the things we sometimes fail at, seeps out of every line of this book. This book will make you want to trust, want to love, want to feel comfortable relying on people, even in moments when you are making yourself incredibly vulnerable.

Palmer details her controversial experiences with media and social media. She describes some of her big mistakes in life, and some incredibly difficult positions she's been put in. But throughout the whole thing she is telling a story about how to rewrite our relationship with artists, and our relationships with fan if we are artists. She is allowing us, as a society, to entertain the idea of returning to embracing our artists, welcoming them back into the arms of society and off the pedestal, off the red carpet and from behind the velvet rope. She is telling a story about embracing the Indie artist as valid and real without a label or publishing house or art review telling us they are valid and real. She is telling artists to rely on their fans to help them, financially, emotionally and in building a rewarding career. To build a rewarding network of fans and followers that can catch the artist when she falls and boost her up when she succeeds.

Palmer is validating the artist who only sells a few hundred prints as just as important to the world as the one showing in art galleries in New York or Paris. She is validating the musician who performs for free at their friend's birthday parties as just as much a musician as the one topping the best-sellers lists. She is validating the self-published blogger who is just as much a writer as the one being reviewed in the New York Times.

This book is going to be a part of a collection of books that I return to often when I need a social and moral boost. Palmer reminds the reader that we are all human, we are all connected and we all need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to be flawed. To be exactly what we are and to be proud of that.

The Art of Asking, like so many books, came to me exactly when I needed it, and I'll forever be grateful for it. I can't wait to finish unpacking my new apartment and place it in its rightful place beside the other books that inspire me to love life.

Next I'm reading:

Faery Tale: One Woman's Search for Enchantment in a Modern World

Calendar of Regrets

What Did Jesus Say About...

This is when a Facebook post becomes a blog post. I decided after posting this on Facebook this morning that I needed to post it somewhere more permanent.

It upsets me that if you type "What did Jesus say" into Google the first thing to come up is "about homosexuality?" He didn't say anything. All four gospels, not one word from Jesus on homosexuality. 

However he did say "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” (Mark 10:21-22) Jesus was much more concerned with whether or not we were spiritually healthy, cared for those less fortunate and treated each other with kindness. He made it abundantly clear that it is not our job to judge those around us for their actions, but simply to love. 

"Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." (Romans 13:1)

Thought of Today

Atrocities of the past are sad but the present is where we have to live. Peace does not come by further looking for revenge on past errors, but by stopping current pain and preventing future pain.

Life in a Day - experience everything

I just finished watching "Life in a Day" and I am blown away. Blown away by the feelings... The emotions. The celebration of life and diversity. Of beauty and tragedy.

I got thinking afterward about the reasons we - the collective we of all life - can create these things. The beauty of this world. Of this life. The similar and opposite ways we each move through our day, from when we first open our eyes, to the moment we close them again.

I spent an hour yesterday with my hands over the hands of a blind 7 year old boy showing him where all the countries in the world are. He can't see a map, and we didn't have a globe so we improvised. We used a beach ball and ran off of my memory (thank you Mrs. Carver from my high school) and I showed him each continent and where he is and where all the people he knows live. Then we used a puzzle map to look at the shape of each US state and Canadian province.

He wanted to know where the earth is compared to other planets.

We pretended he was the sun, the beach ball was the earth and my hands represented all the other planets.

The world felt simultaneously huge and small... Powerful and fragile. And he asked why we don't live on Mars yet.

Moments like that are the moments we should focus on. That is the beauty of life. That is what my recent struggles have prevented me from experiencing and enjoying.

Life is for the living.

Bucket List

I have seen quite a few posts recently about "bucket lists" and life plans. I bought this little notebook awhile back on impulse and a few weeks ago I began writing in it. Each page of the book has either a life goal or something I am grateful for. A bucket list alone felt like it was missing something. It's important to be grateful for what we have, as well as wish for other things.

Among other things I have a list of places I want to go and, of course, my goal to finish a novel.

What's on your list?

Where Have I Been?

Yesterday was easily one of the most amazing days of my life. A few years ago when I was going through a really rough time I was posting some cryptic facebook statuses, something I hate but my depression took over at that point. I received an email from a podcaster I admire. She emailed me asking if I was alright, saying she had seen a lot of sadness in my recent posts and wanted to be sure I wasn't in a bad situation. I'm not sure I had realized before that that she read my posts, that I was worthy of someone so amazing as Sparrow reading my posts. That email was a turning point for me. That email prompted me to talk about my feelings, to change my situation. That chain of events set into play me moving in with Elizabeth, looking for a job I truly enjoy and applying to college. I was bigger than the depression I was experiencing and having someone like Sparrow notice that changed everything.

Yesterday I met Sparrow and Mojo in person in Salem, Massachusetts. We spent the day laughing, shopping, walking through the beautiful Salem community. We ate an amazing lunch in The Lobster Shanty. I haven't suffered from depression in awhile and yesterday took me to a level of incredible happiness depression would never survive in. Easily one of the most amazing days of my life.

Mojo and Sparrow are two kind, incredibly powerful people. Being in their presence at first made me nervous, like meeting celebrities and then realizing those celebrities know your name. Within minutes, though, we were comfy. By the end of the day it was like we had known each other for years, old friends just hanging out doing what friends do. I feel amazingly blessed for the time they shared with me, and for the other people I got to know yesterday, Fae and Scarlet and the other podcasters, Velma, Greywolf, Oraia, Saturn. You all made my day, and I can't express how special it was for me.

In others news, where have I been? Well the semester began a few weeks ago. This semester I am taking two literature courses and a women's studies course which means I'm doing a lot of writing. I'm also working on finishing up a new article for the magazine I've been freelance writing for. It's a good life.

The time I would have normally spent blogging, however, has been going into a different project. At the beginning of this summer I began writing my memoirs. At this point I have around 40,000 words and I am still going. I'm not entirely sure who I will share these memoirs with. I thought I wanted to do more with them, but the more I write them the more I wonder if I should keep them to myself. It's difficult exposing some of the more painful sides of your own life.

Why am I writing them? Multiple reasons. The realization of some things I hadn't pieced together before is a big one. I also feel as though until I have my own life straightened out on paper I can't write as well about others. I have never become so obsessed with finishing a piece of writing like I have been these memoirs. I've never written so much on one topic. But maybe, just maybe, if I get my own pain, my own emotion, my own story out on paper, maybe I can focus on someone else's.

"You have a fun day now!"

"We are only promised the 'pursuit of happiness.' We are only promised that we get to try. If you don't try. If you let your community, your country, your society, or yourself tell you that you don't deserve happiness, that you aren't worthy, then you're [screwed] -Fire Lyte

(I hope Fire Lyte from http://www.incitingariot.com doesn't mind me altering his quote for language.)

I think this is an important concept missed by many. The PURSUIT of happiness. You have to pursue that. No one can hand you happiness. It can't always be someone else's fault you aren't happy.

When my grandmother was in the army, before my father was born, she was taking out the trash and singing (off key, I'm sure) as she worked. The way the story has always been told to me a superior officer came up to her and said, "Private Ray, what is it you are doing?" She said, "taking out the trash, sir." The officer responded with, "While singing? Well aren't you just a Ray of Sunshine."

My grandmother has always been my greatest influence and my strongest role model, and in this there is no exception. No matter what was going on around her she had fun. She buried two husbands, survived wars and poverty, and she always had fun. Just months before she died she was dancing at a benefit thrown in her honor, while my uncle tried to convince her she should be resting instead. She ended every voicemail and answering machine message with, "You have a fun day now!" She was always a Ray of Sunshine.

So, as you go about your day today remember to pursue happiness.

Have a fun day now!

Christianaphobia

There is a knee jerk reaction among Athiests and Pagans when they hear something about a Christian. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? It's the eye roll, the look, the "Oh gods, what did those silly Christians do now?" reaction.

Frankly, I'm sick of it. It's silly. It is not a solution, it only perpetuates the same social ailment that prompted my post on Islamaphobia. It is an issue of acceptance and freedom.

You can feed me all the crap you want about "witches" being burnt at the stake and those evil Jehovah's Witnesses disturbing you during American Idol. You can tell me this is what they deserve for years of oppression. You can attempt to justify it any way you want. It is still religious intolerance.

My sister is one of the truest Christians I know. She is completely devoted to her church, her god, her belief system. Honestly, I admire it. It amazes me that she and I could be raised in the same home and learn the same traditions and end up so entirely different. I admire her faith because it truly appears that nothing can break it. It is strong. It fascinates me.

So when she posted on facebook that she wanted to know her friend's thoughts on gay marriage I was immediately intrigued. I was involved in the conversation and stated my opinion. I accepted her opinion. I know she loves me, and I know she loves my partner. When she was here last week with a friend we discussed religious intolerance.

She and her friend are both devoted Christians. Her friend was telling us that when she meets homosexuals she often feels she has to immediately say, "Oh, I may have gone to a Christian college and I may wear a cross but that doesn't mean I hate you!" I think it is sad that we all need this clarification. Sad for the Christians and sad for us.

Now, let me clarify before the emails begin. This does not mean we should allow others to use their religion to justify their negative actions. As a society we need to progress beyond the Witch Hunts and the slavery. Women have earned the right to work, vote and be recognized as human beings. There are members of the Church who would like to see this reversed. But those people are not the norm. They are the ones making headlines. They are the interesting Christians. My sister's honest and uncontroversial beliefs would never make headlines. In regards to gay marriage she feels "the Bible doesn't say 'Legislate one unto another.'" She went on to say "It is not my job to judge."

Give credit where credit is due. Follow the Christian belief of "Love the sinner, not the sin." Recognize that it is the individual person. There are Catholic priests who are pedophiles. Not all Catholic priests are pedophiles. Religion, in general, can be a beautiful thing. It can also be used for evil. The problem is when people can't separate one person from the masses. Recognize that they are individuals. McDonald's may be America's favorite fast food, but I can't stand the place. That doesn't mean I am not American.

In my home we often refer to the movie "The Blind Side" when discussing true Christians and what they should be. The woman Sandra Bullock plays (based on a true story, btw) is one of the truest examples of a Christian I have ever seen. She takes this big black kid who doesn't stand a chance and is entirely alone in the world and she invites him to her home. She trusts him. She believes in him. And, in turn, he changes her life for the better.

Another example is the man in the beginning of Les Miserables who protects the man who is robbing him in order to give the robber a chance to change his path in life. Those are true Christians. True Christians recognize their commitment to God by spreading the word where it is wanted. True Christians are not standing at funerals with signs that read "God Hates Fags" or kicking their teenage boy out on the streets because he thinks he is gay. A true Christian realizes their place is not judgement. Their place is love and peace.

Can we all meet in the same place?

Gratitude

First, let me get this out of the way. I am thoroughly sickened by the retail businesses across the country who were open yesterday. And I am even more sickened by the greedy consumers who were there just to save a buck. I don't care if you are offended by this. It is sick. I love my gadgets, don't get me wrong. But I've had my ipod for over 3 years now. Just because someone released a newer, better one doesn't mean I need to leave my family so I can go hit some sale at Walmart on Thanksgiving to get it. Thanksgiving is not about sales and saving a buck on cheap junk from China. And personally, the whole thing disgusts me.

On that note, my gratitude list. I'm not going to list it here because I know I'll forget something and I'll spend half the day coming back on here and editing it (when really I should be working on my research paper today). I have an ongoing gratitude list which I keep in my messenger bag that I carry everywhere.

Instead I will simply post three big things I am grateful for.

The biggest thing this year is my girl. I am grateful for a wonderful partner who allows me to be me. A partner who has supported me as I've begun my pursuit of a higher education. A partner who loves me and appreciates spending time with me. A partner who I can grow with, instead of growing beside.

The second thing I am grateful for is finally being out from under the corporate thumb. I am working a job I feel good about. I am not selling my soul for minimum wage, or selling cheap junk to people who can't actually afford it. I am appreciated and my boss makes sure I know I am appreciated. I see the results of my work first hand. I observe the changes I am making in these children's lives everyday. I feel as though I am helping work toward a better future for the next generation. I feel good.

The last thing I am grateful for is my education. I am working on a paper right now about women's history in higher education and I am grateful to live in the century I live in. I am grateful to live in a world that not only allows me an education, but actually encourages my education. I am grateful for a society with more educated females than any society has had in history.

Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Holiday season.

Learning From The Fluffy Bunny

For those who read my blog and aren't Pagan, this probably won't be very interesting to you... But it's been on my mind a lot lately.

What if the "fluffy bunnies" of the Pagan community are not only good, but vital to the community? I'm not talking about the people who are only Pagan for the shock value. I am referring, in this case, to the newbies. The brand-new pagans who are SO excited to get started that they choose a name they will likely regret in a few years, and they can't leave the house without their 6-inch wide pentacle. They walk through a grocery store and people stare and grab for their crucifixes because it‘s just so obvious what these people are. Those, to me, are fluffy bunnies.

I will never forget the day I realized witchcraft was the path for me. I was 15 years old and I had just recently told my Christian parents that I was a lesbian. I was struggling to find a religion that said that was okay, because I had realized I didn’t want to deny that side of myself. A friend handed me Silver Ravenwolf’s “Teen Witch”. I devoured it. The day I finished it I spent ten minutes jumping up and down on my bed in complete glee. I was absolutely ecstatic. When I discovered paganism it truly felt like coming home from a long trip. This was exactly what I needed.

So began my stage as a fluffy bunny. A COMPLETE fluffy bunny. My sister and I showed up at school in our "witchy clothes" so often that we were dubbed the "Blair Witch Sisters" by our classmates. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was becoming a witch. However, when I wasn't shocking classmates and covering my notebooks in pentacles, I was studying. Learning. I was obsessed with everything Pagan, and I was devouring every book I could get my hands on. I was ecstatic. I believe we need that drive of “Fluffy Bunny” in the beginning. In fact, I LOVED being a fluffy bunny! Admit it, you did to! It’s fun, it’s exciting. Your energy is up and you’re absolutely in love with life. You know you’re standing on the precipice of something huge, and even though you may not know what it is or how to harness that energy yet, you can feel that energy. You know it is everywhere, even if you can’t yet pronounce the names.

Wicca is a path of growth. In order to grow you must start somewhere and for a large majority of us that start came with Silver Ravenwolf. Silver Ravenwolf, the most famous “fluffy bunny” of the Pagan world, gave me the means to begin this amazing journey. I needed Silver Ravenwolf. As a teen I wasn’t ready for anything deeper than Wicca 101 and fluffy bunny-ism. I needed correspondences and the “Freeze your Enemies” spell. I wasn’t ready for trances. I couldn’t have begun to understand the darker side, and I can only imagine the damage if Silver Ravenwolf had given me more information than she so wisely publishes. She is writing to a specific demographic, and that demographic needs her. I was that demographic, as a teenage fluffy bunny. I needed her. She may have a bad reputation among some circles of the community, but I am here to proudly state that I am grateful for Silver Ravenwolf, and the doors she helped me open.

Perhaps the fluffy bunny exists to remind us to get in touch with our inner child. Sure they only think of the happy things, of course they have no interest in the darker stuff. Their spirituality is right below the surface, and probably evident in their completely outlandish outfit. They truly believe that all spells need a certain kind of candle, because their spiritual minds aren’t developed enough to realize where the true power of a spell is coming from. But they are having so much fun! Remember when you were a kid pretending to be Gandalf or Samantha for Halloween? The fluffy bunny is still that child. They are still wearing the dress-up clothes and believing the stories they are told whole-heartedly. They have the innocence of a child.

A person that has just been introduced to Paganism can’t even begin to understand the deeper and darker parts of Paganism, and for us to expect them to and push them past the stage they are at on their path is irresponsible. Many of us move past this stage on our own, but there are some who remain in the Fluffy Bunny stage for years. Maybe they need to. Maybe they are not ready to process the mysteries. Maybe their spiritual selves have not lived long enough for them to be trusted with the powers. A third-degree has to go through steps to become a third-degree. A Pagan has to go through steps to truly realize their power. Fluffy bunny is a step. They are the freshman in high school who thinks they are cool because they have a locker and a schedule, but don’t realize that in high school you don’t bring a lunch box covered in stickers. This in the audience Silver Ravenwolf is writing to. These are people who aren’t yet ready for anything deeper than “To Stir A Magic Cauldron”. And I think this is okay.

Don't get me wrong. Fluffy bunnies drive me crazy, too. There are a few at the big Beltane celebration that I will shamefully admit I avoid. But I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and meditating on why I avoid them. When I realized I was one once upon a time I thought this needed more exploration.

I have grown past that stage. I don't wear all black anymore (occasionally I add something olive green to my outfit) and my pentacle has shrunk to a half-inch wide and stays hidden in my shirt. I know that when a fluffy bunny mispronounces Samhain you just want to scream. I know that those of us who have been on the path for a decade or more get annoyed by the image they portray of us to the rest of the world. But there is a role for the bunny in our community. There are lessons the fluffy bunny can teach you if you stop judging long enough to listen. Are you ready to learn?

Stealing Books

This article ran in today's SunJournal. Basically, our public library has to keep Wicca/Occult books behind the counter because of the amount of people stealing them.

Weird, Wicked Weird: The occult. Witchcraft. Demonlogy. Library books that grow legs.

A message to the people stealing these books... you're not doing yourself any good.

As someone who has studied Wicca/Witchcraft for over ten years I am here to tell you that you are not going to cast any successful spells from a stolen spellbook. Contrary to pop culture spells have very little to do with the herbs, the candles, and the creepy black cauldron. They have everything to do with the energy you are putting out into the world. By stealing these books you are putting only negative energy into the world. You are telling the universe, "I can't afford this book" and the universe is going to believe you. And you will never be able to afford that book.

A true Wicca is many things. Peaceful, calm, full of love. They are NOT thieves. As long as you continue to steal things for "magickal practice" you are only perpetuating your own negative energy. You will never be a true Wicca, or even begin to understand the beauty that is Witchcraft, until you stop habits such as these.

If it is indeed people who are copying the idea of the woman who stole the sex education book... Read one of those books with the same open mind that I recently enlisted when I read, "Our Jehovah". I don't need to be Christian to see the beauty that COULD come from Christianity. Admit for a moment that throughout the planet there are people who think their way is the only way... and maybe in the grand scheme of things your opinion, as one out of billions, could be misconstrued. Because, well, the world doesn't revolve around you. In revolves around my god, The Sun.

P.S. You can BORROW that book for free! They'll let you! It's what they do!